By that, I don’t mean the great, gaping divide between ‘partnered’ and ‘not-partnered’. It’s fairly obvious that those who are alone on Valentine’s Day won’t be shouting to the rooftops about it. They will be the ones discussing the crass commercialism, the way Valentine’s chocolates taste weird compared to normal chocolate and thanking whatever god they pray to when its all over and done with and we can go on to Easter – the crass commercialism, hot-cross buns, more chocolate that tastes weird compared to normal chocolate, and of course, bunnies. Lots and lots of bunnies.
Having set aside probably more than half of the people in the world, we move on to those who ARE in a relationship. I’m going to assume, for one hilarious second, that all of those relationships are loving and harmonious and when they kiss, the birds outside the window trill a merry tune and small animals pause in what they are doing to look on a smile. I know this is very far from the real state of affairs in the world, but indulge me this fantasy, just for a little while.
Even amongst all of these loved-up couples, Valentine’s Day isn’t necessarily the highlight of their year. And there is good reason for that.
It’s because, amongst us all, there is only a relatively small percentage who place the giving and receiving of gifts at the top of their ‘how to show love’ tree.
How many people have you heard say, “I don’t need a special day to tell my significant other that I love him/her/them?” Personally, I would hear this from two or three people a year, of course, my circles of friends are relatively small. You probably hear it more often. But then, you’ll get the response from someone else, “But I LOVE Valentine’s Day. The hearts, the chocolates, the going out for dinner… and I don’t care how commercial it is, it’s just NICE.”
Everyone has their own “How I Like To Receive Love” Tree. Mine, I think, looks a little like this:
Words of support
Discussing Fun Stuff Just Hanging Out
Discussing Less Fun Stuff ♥♥♥♥♥ Giving Presents
Receiving Presents Going Places Seeing him have a good time
Sexytimes Affirmations Holding Hands Doing things for each other
As you can see, the giving and receiving of presents isn’t right up there at the top. They are still ON my tree ( don’t get me wrong, when the other half buys me stuff I’m always excited, and I get a kick out of buying him stuff as well), but it’s not the be all and end all.
His tree would look different to mine. I’m pretty sure he looks as his watch sometimes when I won’t let him go out of a hug, but I forgive him for that. It’s not at the top of his tree.
The point is, I fall into the category of those who don’t need or even want a specific day for him to shower me with flowers and chocolate and jewellery. I’d prefer good conversation, parked on the couch in front of a movie, and lots and lots of cuddles. Which I already receive regularly. So I don’t need a Valentine’s Day for my love to proclaim his affection for me. I already know it.
Now, the other side. I LOVE reading Valentine’s stories. You can pretty much be guaranteed a happy ending, and they are usually sweet and sloppy and romantic. Despite my love tree above, I am in fact a sweet and sloppy romantic underneath. Just with a thin shell of practicality.
What about you? What does your tree look like? I basically looked at the Five Love Languages for this post – http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ – but I kind of expanded on them a little when I found that when I did the test, they all came out at around about the same score…
And if you want to read a sweet, sloppy, Victorian romance set on Valentine’s Day, you can get my new, short sweet novella The Viscount’s Valentine for FREE here.
Happy reading! And Happy Valentines Day!!