Procrastinatrix. Extraordinaire.


It’s not everyone who can procrastinate quite as well as I can.  So I thought I’d fill you in on all you need to know to be able to procrastinate effectively, every day.

1. Distractions are Necessary

Every skilled procrastinator knows that without distractions, they may not be able to procrastinate.  Whether it’s the housework, the kids, filing your nails, doing your taxes – anything can be an effective distraction.  Ensure that you have a list of potential distractions, so that if you are having trouble finding one, you can check your list.

Power Procrastinators will procrastinate over writing the distractions list.  There is nothing I can teach such Gods.

2. Eating and Drinking

These are necessary bodily functions, and you ignore them at your own risk.  Ensure that each time your brain starts to say “I think I might be hungry/thirsty” that you get up from your prescribed task, and indulge the brain.  After all, it is the thing that nurtures your procrastinator’s instincts.

3. Lists

Lists are a procrastinator’s dream.  Write lists for everything.  If you have a list, make sure you never read it, and if you do by some awful quirk of fate glance across one, ensure that you NEVER do the tasks listed therein.  There are plenty of other things to do rather than work on your lists.  (see 1. Distractions are Necessary above.)

4. Overwhelm

Allow yourself to be totally overwhelmed by any big thing that you have to do.  Allow it to haunt your dreams, and all of your waking moments.  It is your Elephant, and you are required to Eat It.  In One Big Gulp.

Effective procrastination – Real, Honest-To-God, Effective Procrastination is an art form.  There are those of us who dabble.  But if you want to be a Power Procrastinator, you need to be sure that you never finis

Procrastinatrix. Extraordinaire.
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